Francine Part 5 — Beautifying and Bashing

A few months passed, and finally school came to a halt. Nick and I basked in our unemployment while Brad freaked out about not having any money. Amidst the envisioning of Suriboka's destiny, we played around with Francine. Strangely, it seems that the crappier this truck looks, the better it runs. Nevertheless, we continued to try to make this little Toyota look better than when we got it. Unbeknownst to me, Brad and Nick bought some seat covers for Francine from a scapyard. It helps immeasurably to ease the pain of sitting on the seats, and even masks the fear of being attacked by black widows.

Next Francine was attacked with an angle grinder. The majority of the junk splattered on the side of the bed was obliterated. It was later (who knows how much later) blasted with a wave of magically red-brown primer.

Eventually we started to get in another one of our 'basher' moods, and Francine was the designated victim. A few spins in the field raised our spirits. Thanks to a little rubber gripping, the field was transformed from grass to dirt in a relatively short time. Naturally, we were able to achieve ruts in the ground too!

A few weeks passed and one day we decided to take off the front fenders to pound them out a little. However, tools were limited to shoes, a hammer, and nothing in between, so results were unimpressive, to say the least. But on the bright side, they make a great hide-away!

One day, we decided we needed to back Francine out of her old parking spot (between a tree and some bushes). Brad hopped in to do the honors of driving the beloved beast. At this point however, the deformed fenders were still lying on the ground, behind the truck. After asking if it 'was clear' to back up, Justin, Nick's step brother shouted a confirming 'Yes!' and back she went... Make no mistake - if Francine's fenders were not bent out of shape prior to this incident, they definitely were now. After everyone took their turn to laugh and yell condescending remarks at Justin, we continued on with the intended activities, which I believe were to pull Suriboka's carcass into the back yard.

One day toward the end of summer, Nick and I (Courtney) got this great idea - change Francine's oil. We had owned this 'vehicle' for over 6 months and never even changed the oil. After accidentally seeping a good quart of two of oil on the ground, instead of in the container, we got her all fixed up. We also popped in a new air filter, as the old one looked like it was used to mop up the oil on someone's garage floor. (Actually, I don't think it looked too bad, but there are no fun analogies to make from that) I then had the excellent idea to actually reattach the exhaust manifold to the exhaust pipes. This, I hoped, would make her run quieter and more smoothly. This, however, was tragic mistake. I hopped in the little mutton-chaser and cranked her over... and over and over and over. Gas... crank, crank, crank -- No luck. Francine just wouldn't start! I yelled and screamed, and probably headbutted the steering wheel, but she still would not start. Nick tried it too, but with no luck. After a long time, she finally started, but required about 1/4 throttle just to stay running. With these symptoms, Francine limped out to the field in the back of Nick's house.

After a few quick spins (and a few sputting deaths of the engine), Nick managed to magically convince Francine to keep an idle! Yay! We rejoiced and continued to bash the truck as we played in the field. And then the symptoms returned. This routine happened three or four times before we finally called it quits. It seems, for some very odd reason, that flooring it 3rd gear, and successfully spinning the tires to get a good rev out of the engine fixes Francine's desire for a sputtering death. All we can say is "...cool!"

After this, school was nearing again, and Francine had to be put aside to do things which are far less entertaining, like finding the derivative of (PI^32 * (2x^2/x cos x) ) / (tan^2x x * 19x^3)