The Tale of the '89 Ford Tempo — Part 3

At this point, we got the new exhaust manifold and pipes on the car. It ran very quietly compared to it's previous loud, flatulence-like gurgle. But the car had a leaky radiator so it was time to fix that!

So on Saturday, September 21st, 2002, I met Nick over at his house, did some dilly-daddling no doubt, and got to work on taking out the radiator. My brother decided to come with me to help out -- that's an important part of the story, so don't forget!

Here is a picture of the damaged radiator while still in the car.

Exciting huh? So we unscrewed some caps and pulled on some nearby hoses. When we got smart enough, we pulled the main hose and drained all of the fluid into a bucket (except for a little spillage at first) With that done, we could get it out of the car finally! So we started unbolting things. First, the electric fan had to come off along with all of the plastic guards. (I'm not referring to Army-Men) Next we unbolted the radiator from the car. Then we pulled and realized that there were transmission lines attached to it still. -- This is where the story gets interesting -- The transmission lines run from the left side of the radiator to the transmission. There was also a second line for the air conditioning. Nick got underneath the car and started to pry apart the lines. It didn't go so well. A small hose which connected two metal pipes was on very, very tight. We took a knife to the end but didn't cut enough off. Just more problems. The hose started to fray on the ends. More pulling, no budging. Frustrated, Nick stepped away for a minute. Now, my helpful younger brother decided to take a wrench to the end of the transmission lines that connects to the radiator. They were on very tight but eventually moved. But they didn't move the way we wanted them to. No, instead, with the radiator still in place, the transmission lines twisted and kinked. The line was now bent horribly out of shape and very weak.

Oops, way to go, Cody

Anyways, to make an ever longer story short: we ripped apart that line, dripped red goo, which we didn't know was supposed to be transmission fluid although it looked a lot like transmission fluid. As soon as that happened Nick said "oops" and then said he didn't want to cut that line after all. He then went about getting apart the other line, which was much, much, much easier. Then he decided that the line he cut that he said he didn't want to cut was supposed to get cut. After being confused, as I'm sure you are now, we finally were able to pull the whole thing out. YEAH!

Finally! You can only somewhat see the damage at the top about 1/3 of the way to the right. By looks, the damage looked minimal. However, that spot dripped a lot of fluid!

At this point, we decided to head to the junkyard and pick up a used radiator that had been deemed usable. We also picked Steve, so he could help us break stuff. We dropped by 'U-Pull It' and they handed us a radiator from a '90 Ford Tempo. At this point, we decided we needed to get those darn metal transmission lines off, because they didn't come with the new radiator. Much to our dismay, we had no problems once we used TWO wrenches. AHH! Anyways, we threw money at the people and took the 'new' radiator away. The funny this is that old radiator looked quite new and shiny. The only problem was that there were two gashes in it which leaked like Niagara Falls. The 'new' radiator looked very dirty, a little rusty, and slightly dented. But it doesn't leak ewy-goo, so we are happy with it.

This is the 'new' radiator before it went in the Tempo. It came off of a '90 Tempo.

With that, we decided it would be a good idea to put it in the car. We proceeded to connect those pesky transmission lines. Now, if you will recall, my brother badly bent the transmission line. Unfortunately, when we connected it to the new radiator, the metal pipe bent over and cracked! Ooops.

A picture right after the transmission line was bent and cracked. It is the one on the right, see it???

Being resourceful, we grabbed the JB-Weld Nick bought a few days earlier. It is basically two liquids that, when mixed, are supposed to create a hard substance. So we mixed up our magical JB potion and applied it to the crack in the bent pipe.

Stir, stir, stir! Applying the goop.

At that point, I had to leave. I went to church and then out to dinner with my family and eat some great Mexican food at Ixtapa. As far as I know, the rest of the process went along as planned. Nick and Steve, without my supervision, probably burned some important body parts, but I can not be sure.

The next day, I went over Nick's house and everything was all hooked up! It did, however, lack a necessary ingredient -- antifreeze/water. So we added the fluid, moved a truck or two, and then started the Tempo up. It should be noted that the 'EconoPower' battery still was not able to start on it's own power. It had to be jumped. Stupid Econo-mono-bono-flongo!!!!! (sorry) Now we hit the road (not literally).

On the road! And the car is quiet!

After driving the back-road equivalent of about 4 blocks, the transmission was starting to slip. We decided to hop out and see how things were running. (Since we are bright young men, we decided to do this check in the middle of the road.) As I started to walk around to the front of the car, I noticed a very large amount of liquid streaming down from the front of the car and pooling under the bumper. The liquid was red and seemed an AWEFUL lot like transmission fluid.

We iz much smart 2 park at middle uv thu road "The puddle"

Although the picture makes it look like a crime scene, the fact is that we were losing an enormous amount of transmission fluid. We popped the hood and quickly realized that our trusty JB-Weld did not do it's job in sealing to the pipe. Nick checked the transmission fluid level -- it was off the dipstick. With this, Nick shut off the car and we started to walk back to his house to get a bottle of tranny fluid -- enough to get us back. On the walk back, we saw that we had been leaking almost since the moment we left the house.

Nick proudly displaying our biohazard trail

We picked up the only bottle of tranny fluid left in the house and I drove my truck back to the Tempo. After attempting to add it without a funnel and failing, I drove back and got our big funnel. We added it in and then went back as quick as the ugly red thing would go (without breaking anything else)

Run Tempo, run!

And so ends my involvement in the saga of the Ford Tempo. Within the next day or two, Nick replaced the problematic transmission line. As for the current condition of the car, the front and back doors on the passengers side of the car will not lock, the AC is not working, and the automatic seatbelt on the driver's side does not move. This was an "interesting" project, as I have not worked much on cars before. I have discovered a new-found loathing for compact cars as well as automatic transmissions. I also have found that the layout of a front-wheel-drive car really stinks! (literally as well as figuratively). If you have a Tempo/Topaz story you would like to share or link to, please contact Randomland Productions. In the subject line, type "Tempo/Topaz." Nick has also discovered a Tempo/Topaz fan club. And we should all agree that there is nothing more sick and disturbing than this (except maybe "How to Pimp Out Your 3-cylinder Geo 101"), but nonetheless, it exists. I believe it is www.tempotopaz.com Early in October, Nick traded the car for a canoe...a good trade indeed! However, the saga lives on. I still have a spot of discolored skin on my arm where I bled from cutting my arm on the car while removing the exhaust manifold curly-q thingy. Oh it ain't over yet... End of story.