Slappin' the Automatic Paper Towels Dispensers

Over the past few years, I've noticed an explosion in the number of automatical paper towel dispensers. I don't know if it's some Oregon law, or what. What I do know is that I don't like them. They're non-tactile; they're slow; they're unpredictable...they're evil! Now, the idea is that you simply wave your hand in front of the light sensor and a sheet of paper is dispensed. The theory is sound, but in practice it has two flaws:

1. I rarely get it to dispense without getting SO close that I actually touched the sensor
2. They rarely give you enough paper, so you'll end up wiping your hands on your pants anyway
3. I feel like a junior paper-summoning fairy who hasn't quite gotten the hang of his magic fairy-wand

Ok, that was three. The third one was a bonus, and no less true! Anyway, instead of conceding to this inferior technology, I just slap the thing! It works more consistently and I get that "I'm better than you" feeling over the...uh, paper towel dispenser. These devices have completely lost their novelty, in my eyes. Footnote: I had similar "user-error" mishaps with the do-it-yourself-credit-card-swipers that are now completely inescapable. I used to comment on how I could code a Binary Search Tree in my sleep, but was unable swipe my own debit card.